Repentance

In childhood, repentance seemed so easy to understand. One would find out that a certain behavior or attitude was not what it should be, and then one way or another, we would find ourselves in a situation that required us to say, “I’m sorry.” And that was pretty much it.

As life wore on, repentance came at a higher and higher price. Repentance meant more than admitting a mistake. It had more the flavor of changing sides in the struggle over what would dominate my life. Changing my mind was not some easy act of the will, but an increasingly excruciating confrontation with a failed desire, or a squandered enterprise. I had become what I was by deliberate choices, and some very strong desires, some of which were not at all “good.”

Even if I repented I did not get to go back and get a fresh start. I had to deal with the unwanted momentum of a direction that had to be abandoned. I learned that my companions and my investment partners and others who “knew” me expected me to continue to keep going in the old directions. And there were some things that repentance did not reach. I could not have back the days I had wasted. I could not recreate the opportunities I had not engaged. Life turned out to be a once-only trip, and repentance did not mean that if I repented I would have my resources restocked for another try. Repentance is far more serious than that. Repentance is an experience far deeper that some superficial re-assessment of failure. It can be the first harsh, and sometimes desperately traumatic, realization that something in my life is repeatedly drawing me away from what I want myself to be before God, and that my efforts to make the changes needed appear to be futile.

This Advent season, let us celebrate the mighty work of God in Christ, as Jesus Christ exhibits the power of God that now frees us from the traps and entanglements of sins and flaws that we could not shake off, no matter how much we tried to be rid of them. This is not to be simply a “turning from sin,” rather it is a turning to Christ. It can indeed be hard to imagine how change is possible in the deeply ingrained patterns of modern life, but there is a surge of life-changing grace in Christ that waits for all who open their hearts and thoughts to his Holy Spirit. Advent lifts up the opportunity to be joined to the ancient appeal to repent… to change… and in asserting that ancient claim on this generation offer a way in Christ that leads not to futility, but to abundant life.

Pastor Jansen